


Selfish

by sarsa



Series: V-ignettes. [3]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 14:32:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18942910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarsa/pseuds/sarsa
Summary: He leaves in the morning, to find himself, to learn to love himself so he can love you.But the night before, he gives in to his first selfish desire.You.





	Selfish

**Author's Note:**

> GUESS WHO'S BACK. (BACK AGAIN.) FINALLY UPDATING THIS COLLECTION (OH YEAH.) This is a sequel (trequel?) to To Reach Out and Touch You and The Choices We Make
> 
> So okay, a few things first. I apologize if this is long, but backstory.
> 
> I recently, on a whim, decided to play Mysme again. I was GOING to play V's After Ending (because ofc.) but then I found out it's like a 1000ish HG's to get? So I was like "Ima read up on this and just play his route again." So I read about his after ending's and WEW h o t g a r b a g e for V. made me so angry for him. 
> 
> So, I said to myself "Hey, remember those V fics you always intended on writing but didn't? You have the power. The power to FIX this and GIVE HIM the ENDING he DESERVES." 
> 
> So I am. I am going to give V the ending he deserved as part of this old ass collection (aka literally two fics). I can't say how long this will be, or how many more fics I will write for him. At the moment, I have one more idea floating around. 
> 
> AS FOR THIS FIC. I am not sure if this is 100% the idea I had originally planned. I'm like 99.707% sure it is what I had planned but who knows. It's smut so who can complain. I can't. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy and uhhh sorry about the 2 year wait??? I pulled a V. B) 
> 
> This takes place at the end of V's route, right before he leaves for 2 years.

He was leaving in the morning, but to where he would not tell you- keeping his plane ticket tucked away in the suitcase that now stood waiting by the front door.

 

You had been surprised by his sudden call that night, half expecting to him to disappear without any warning and had accepted it may be a long while until you saw him next. You knew it was for the best to allow his heart to heal, and to have faith he would come back. So when you heard his soft, gentle yet weary voice on the phone you were more than a little taken aback.

_ “Ahh… I’m sorry- you weren’t sleeping yet right? I’m sorry if I woke you up…” _

_ “No, I was just setting some things up before dinner. I’m still unpacking, this apartment is so big… I’m not used to it.” _

_ “Oh- I see. Are you settling in well though? Even though it’s big, you can depend on the members to come and visit you if you feel lonely, alright? You’ve become precious to them, just as precious as you are to me. I hope you all grow closer while I’m gone…” _

_ “I know- don’t worry.” you giggled, “This is a precious family, the RFA. We’ll make you proud when you see how we’ve overcome our obstacles to grow stronger.” _

_ “Ahh… and I promise to come back better for you all-” _

_ “For yourself.” You corrected lightly. _

_ “Yes. For myself. You’re right…”  _

_ “Was there something you needed, V? Not that I mind talking to you on the phone but if I can help-” _

_ “Yes… actually… I- want to do something… for myself. A selfish desire of mine. Would that…. be alright? I wonder if it would be...” _

_ “Of course it would be. If anyone deserves to be a little selfish, it’s you, V.” _

_ “Alright. Then… I’d like to… spend this night before I leave… with you. I want to sketch your memory into my mind so maybe.. Your courage and faith will always stay with me, pushing me forward.” _

His forwardness startled you somewhat, but you agreed readily- a small shiver of excitement running through you.

_ “Yes. Of course.” _

__ A laugh.  
_  
_ _ “Oh good. I’m already outside actually… I found myself walking here without even realizing. Before long, I ended up in front of your apartment and was building up the courage to call you. Thankfully my impulsiveness didn’t lead to embarrassment…but now I’m just feeling impatient. I’ll hang up first, okay?  _ **_I want to see you.”_ **

Only moments after the click of his hangup did you hear a gentle knock on the door- immediately moving to open it and be greeted by a familiar shade of mint- “I brought some dinner over… you said you were just about to eat right?”

You blinked in surprise, unsure of what to say at first at the breathless man in front of you before finally letting out a soft giggle, “You came so prepared… are you sure this was spur of the moment? It feels more like you planned it.”

You moved to the side to let him in, and he gratefully moved forward, setting his suitcase by the door before smiling at you, “...Perhaps. I just felt myself being drawn to you,” One hand moved up- trembling slightly at it reached out to brush your cheek- still as unsure as he had been back in Seven’s car, “I felt I couldn’t leave without at least giving you my thanks… for giving me the courage to try and find myself. And selfishly, I wanted to simply be with you for comfort.”

A smile rose to your face as a blush did- turning into the hand that touched you as you replied, “I don’t mind…” you said softly, “I’m happy that you’re not leaving without saying goodbye first.”

He smiled back- a smile without sadness but still with sorrowful longing before he quickly turned away to pick up the food he had brought over, “It’s nothing fancy, I hope you don’t mind…. Truthfully, I just picked up the first thing I saw on my way over here… I’ve been eating so much hospital food anything seemed good to me. But I- can go get something else… I don’t know what you like exactly… 

You shook your head, laughing slightly as you took the food from him, “You’re already here, silly. Relax, okay? I think that-” you peeked into the bag, “That fried chicken will be fine, in fact- I love fried chicken and it’s the perfect meal after a hard day unpacking everything.”

V relaxed slightly, though the nervousness still remained evident in his shoulders, “You’re so forgiving…” he said softly, “Your positivity is always so bright… even after everything that’s happened you’re able to greet me so warmly…”

“Because I feel that warmth from you,” you said, moving to grab plates, “It’s small right now, and I know you’re hurting still… but I want to shield you from that pain so your fire stays lit- so you can slowly build it up again all on your own,” you glanced back at him with a small smile before looking back to your task, “Jumin left some wine here… I think it was meant to be a housewarming gift. Would you like to share it? Oh-” you frowned slightly, eyes moving to look at his stomach, “Can you- drink? How’s your-”

“I can have a glass or two,” he said, running a hand through his mint locks, “If it’s wine Jumin left, it’s probably very good. It’s been so long since I’ve properly sat down with him like old times… it won’t be the same, but if I share a glass with you… I think Jumin would appreciate that.”

You nodded, grabbing two glasses and pouring out the wine before giggling slightly, “I bet Jumin would cringe knowing we’re drinking it with fried chicken, but oh well. It’s a special occasion. Come on, let’s sit… I don’t have a table or chairs just yet so we’ll just have to sit on the floor… I’m sorry.”

V shook his head, moving to sit down on the floor carefully- watching as you came over with the food and drinks and once you had set them down carefully- reaching out to pull you down and into his lap, “I arrived unannounced, so I’ll take responsibility,” he said with a smile, “I hope you don’t mind… I just want to  be as close to you as possible tonight so this works in my favor.”

You blinked, letting out a soft squeak in surprise as he pulled you into his lap, “N-No, it’s alright… um-” you cleared your throat, “You’ll be fine though right? You’re not in any pain?”

He shook his head as you adjusted yourself, turning to sit sideways in his lap so you could look at him, “Yes... I’m alright,” he leaned forward, resting his chin against your shoulder, “I’m cleared to travel… I think I’ll be alright.”

You felt him tremble beside you though, and you looked up at him- a hand reaching up to gently touch his face, fingers touching his skin and gently stroking to calm him, “Are you still… nervous?” you asked softly, “It’s been so long since that time… V- you won’t hurt me. I’ll only be hurt if you shut me out.”

 

He nodded, closing his eyes and attempting to loosen his body- opening them briefly as he felt you move, turning around and sitting up on your knees before you wrapped your arms around his neck- hugging him tightly. He stiffened slightly, before relaxing instantly- melting against you as he turned his face to take in your comforting scent.

 

“You see?” You murmured softly against him, “I want you to be selfish. Tell me what you want, be selfish and ask. I won’t be angry…. I won’t demand anything of you. I just want you to be happy…”

V stayed quiet for a moment, his breath slowing- becoming steadier the longer you held him against you, before his own hands came up to wrap around you as he pulled you away slightly to look at him, “What I want… is you…” he said softly, one hand coming up to brush strands of hair that had fallen in front of your face, “I want… to know-  every inch of you.” He leaned forward- hesitating briefly as he stared into your eyes before continuing- pressing his lips against yours as his hand moved to plunge into the back of your hair. 

He pulled away- but kept his face close to yours, noses touching as his eyes closer- breathing ragged as he attempted to speak again, “When I’m with you… it’s as though every breath I take saves me from drowning. But I can’t take you with me- I have to do this on my own so I- selfishly…” he laughed slightly, pressing his forehead against yours, “Selfishly I want to ask you to fill me up with enough air to keep pressing forward to begin anew. So I can always have my light in my heart when I become lonely. That- that’s not overly selfish is it? It’s not wrong? I’ve asked so much of you already… you must think me a coward- one who still can’t walk on his own.” 

You shook your head, smiling as you captured his lips in another kiss before speaking, “Nobody can do it on their own, V. I thought you knew this by now… that it’s okay to depend on others. I want you to be open and honest with yourself… so you can be honest with me.”

He let out a small laugh, “You always know how to get me on the right track again. Every time that drug tried to take hold you knew how to steer me back to sanity. Even now, you there to remind me.” 

V paused after this, taking a moment to look at you- his hands gently stroking your hair and your cheek- eyes soft and full of wonder before he leaned close- lips touching yours as he whispered, “Can you let this selfish man have you for this night? Him and him alone?” 

You shivered at the closeness and the words he spoke, slowly nodding, “But the food-”

“Ah… right… we shouldn’t waste it,” he smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he turned you around, “But don’t eat too fast, you’ll get ill… okay?” 

* * *

 

 

Once you both had eaten, and the bottle of wine drank- you both made your way to your bedroom that thankfully, was the most put together room in the apartment amidst your unpacking. 

You bit your lip as you turned on a lamp, making sure to dim it to avoid hurting V’s still healing eyes- turning around and bumping into the man himself, who simply smiled at you, “Actually…” he pointed at the opened window- the cool night breeze making the shades flutter in the wind- showing off the bright moon and stars shining in the sky, He leaned over and turned the lamp off, leaving the two of you with only the light of the night sky. 

“V-”

“I want to… memorize you…” he said softly, touching your shoulder with trembling hands, “I can see you so much more clearly now, thanks to my surgery- I... want to- treasure seeing you with this new sight."

You shivered as he drew closer, one hand moving to cradle your face before he moved to kiss you, fingers playing with your hair as the kiss grew deeper. Carefully, and slowly he maneuvered you to the bed, picking you up and laying you onto the bed- where he pulled away to look at you, the light of the moon casting rays of light across your face.

His fingers brushed against your lips as his eyes crinkled with a smile that spread across his entire face, “You’re beautiful…” he whispered softly, “I hope you never lose the smile in your heart…”

You flushed at that, and brought your hands up to pull him down into a kiss to hide your embarrassment. You felt him chuckle against your lips, murmuring gently, “But it’s true…” before his hands moved down, hesitating at first before you felt him take a deep breath against you, steadying himself before his fingers brushed against the edge of your skirt. 

You smiled against him, nudging him gently, “It’s alright… V. I want this you-” you looked up at him, your eyes staring into his with an intensity full of desire and care, “You won’t break me. You won’t hurt me,” your fingers slid into the strands of his hair, pulling him in close for a kiss before breaking apart, “I want us to share this… to share each other. Don’t we deserve this bit of happiness after all that’s happened? We got through what happened together… and we’re stronger for it.”

You giggled slightly, shaking your head, “Besides, I want a good memory to look back on while I wait for you. Don’t you?”

He nodded, letting out a shuddering breath as he relaxed, his hand now inching up your leg beneath your skirt, “Yes. I do, I did say that didn’t I…” he whispered, growing bolder at his reaffirmation, fingers toying with the edge of your panties now, “When I falter, I’ll have your memory to fall back on- your sweet strength to fill me.” His fingers moved now, dipping beneath the fabric, causing you to shiver against him. Gently he stroked your folds, moving to kiss your neck as you brought your arms around him- hugging him tightly against your body. He let out a soft groan, inching his fingers slowly inside you, delighted as he heard the first soft moan emerge from your lips. 

“V…” You whimpered lightly as he kissed your neck, fingers quickening inside you as you began to tremble, “I-I want  _ you  _ please…”  

He pulled away only slightly, propping himself up on his other elbow as he stared down at you- locks of his mint hair falling across his face, the moonlight casting shadows across his weary face. You brought a hand up, touching him gently, his face turning into your touch lips kissing your fingers with the gentleness you had grown to know was him. Slowly you pushed yourself up, one hand going to his shoulder to brace yourself as you felt him oblige your sudden movement.

“I want to hold you…” you whispered softly, wrapping your arms around his neck as you sat on his lap- your hot heat pressed against the tightness of his pants, eliciting a low groan from the man- his eyes sliding shut, “I want to be as close to you as possible…”

His arm slipped down to your waist, pulling you in closely against his chest, and you returned the movement by rocking against him, whimpering softly as you felt his clothed erection press against your panties.

“I want you to hold me…” he replied quietly, his other hand moving to pull at your shirt- the normally gentle man suddenly held an edge of impatience in his voice as he freed you from your top and bra, fingers dancing across your skin giving you shivers, “Instead of worry on your face towards me, I want to see you full of pleasure… god… please- I want to see you happy because of me.”

V looked up at you as he moved forward, wrapping his mouth around your breast- smiling as he felt you jump, and whimper in response. Mint eyes twinkled in the moonlight as you felt his tongue gently toy with you and you frantically wriggled against him, fingers moving to try and pull at his own clothing.

He pulled away, one hand instinctively moving to cover yours that had tugged on his shirt, his eyes closed- a pained expression crossing his face.

“V?” you asked softly, “What’s wrong…”

He smiled weakly, resting his forehead against your breasts as he let out an uneven breath, “I’m sorry… I just- get nervous… when people look at my body. Ahh…” he shook his head, moving to kiss your hand, a soft chuckle escaping him, “I suppose too, I’m-... this body of mine- it’s not pleasant… My wounds have mostly healed but I still feel regret…” 

You looked at him, expression softening but you pried your hand away from his- and keeping your eyes on him, slowly began to unbutton his shirt. When it was fully undone, you brought your hands to his chest- fingers sliding across his skin with feather light touches as you leaned to catch him in a breathless kiss. 

You pulled away briefly, smiling shyly at him, “You’re beautiful V… Please don’t hide from me… not anymore,” you said softly, a hint of pleading evident in your voice, "You don't need too. Not from me..."

He took a deep breath, shaking slightly before nodding- slipping out of his shirt and tossing it by yours before looking up at you with a small teasing smile, “Anymore and you’ll have to join me…”

You flushed, feeling a bit self conscious yourself before you straightened up, giving him a wry smile as you pushed yourself back slightly- wriggling out of your skirt and panties and tossing them to the side as you eyed him with a satisfied smile.

V blinked in surprise at your forwardness- eyes scanning your body, breath heavy as he bit his lip- his hands moving to the button of his pants as he swallowed nervously, “Ahh… I should have known better,” he said, unbuttoning his pants, “You do have a stubborn and forward streak… always willing to push me a bit... “ 

You watched as he slowly took off his remaining clothes, biting your lip as he bared himself in front of you, shivering slightly though your skin was warm as he crawled back up to you- opening your arms to let him in. His lips captured yours as your arms wrapped around him, fingers clenching in excitement as you felt his bare skin touch yours, your body instinctively moving against his. 

“I feel… like a puzzle piece…” he murmured against your skin, “Blank and alone… searching for it’s match. But your body fits against mine so perfectly. I don’t feel any pain… when I’m with you… it’s so easy to simply fit inside your heart…”   


You whimpered as you felt his cock twitch against you, fingers digging in then releasing him as you kissed him more frantically, “V… please…” you whispered, “I need you... “ 

He pulled away- the moonlight making his eyes appear pale- though the light make them twinkle as he gazed down at you, fingers trailing down your skin before he grabbed your hip, holding you steady as he guided himself forward- keeping his eyes trained on yours, heart pounding as he watched your breasts rise and fall with your already ragged breath. 

“V…” You let out a breathy moan as the tip of his cock entered you, letting it out in relief as you finally felt the first waves of pleasure crash over you from finally having him, “More… please…”

He leaned over, peppering your face with soft, lingering kisses as he pressed himself in further, “My angel… with her halo of moonlight... “ he whispered, “I want to come back stronger for you… I’ll come back, unafraid of loving you... “

You let out a sharp cry as he thrust inside of you, as his head fell forward against you- moaning against you, “I’m sorry… did it hurt?” he pulled back slightly stopping only when you gripped the back of his neck tightly, shaking your head.

“Don’t…” you whispered, pulling him back down as you wrapped your legs around him, moaning as you pushed his cock further inside you, “Don’t go… I want to stay like this forever.”

Your voice broke slightly, and your body trembled against him but you held yourself close to him, eyes shut tight. His lips found yours, coaxing you into a warm kiss before he started to rock against you, “You… feel like… the heaven I’ve longed for…” he whispered, “Being held in your arms… what did I do to deserve this…”

“You saved me…” 

“No… you… ahh… you saved me…” His own voice broke at this as he thrust inside of you, letting out a soft cry- head falling forward to touch your forehead with his, sweat rolling down his face as he breathed, “You saved me from the depths of my self loathing… from the darkness Rika wanted to swallow me in… you made believe I deserved a second chance… that it- it wasn’t… my fault. You saved me… and you still.. have more to give me…”

You lifted your hips up against him, feeling the tip of his cock press against you- sending a dizzying wave of pleasure across your body, “You did save me… though… from Rika-”

“I had too!” he whispered, tears now falling from his face as he looked at you, a hand brushing at the strands of hair stuck to your face, “You were so strong… so patient, but I couldn’t bear to see your innocence stripped from you because of my mistakes! If I had left you… how could I bear that pain of seeing you hurt?”

“Sshh…” you kissed him sweetly, playing with his mint locks gently as you rocked yourself against him, hearing him pant as you did, “You’re strong too… and you saved me. You did V. You kept me safe…”

He let out a choked sob, “Did I?” he pushed up against you, crying out as you met his thrust, “I’m so… grateful… that you’re alive... “ his hand moved to cup your face, his thumb moving to touch your neck- feeling your pulse as he kissed you, “Alive… happy… with your heart open to a foolish man like… like me… haa…”

“Will you come back to me, V?” you asked, “Come back to me, happier. I want to see you smile… without her shadow crossing it…”

“Yes…” he whispered, “I will. I want to be happy… happy so I can see you without any pain leaking into my heart…”

You shuddered around him, letting out a cry as he sped up his pace, both of you clutching at one another desperately, the sound of your moans echoing throughout your apartment. 

“V… V!” You felt your vision blur as pleasure coursed through you every time his cock moved inside you, the sudden urge to cry coming over you as you looked at him- pulling him in for a kiss as you held each others bodies tightly, “V… I’ll… always… wait for you… please- please come back…please…” You let out a soft sob, your hips lifting up to meet his- crying out as your release hit you- trembling against him and burying your face in the crook of his neck as you cried.

“I’ll… always… come...ahh… back for you…!” His hips jerked forward, and he let out a strained cry as he came- face falling forward to pepper your shoulder with kisses, whispering words of love into your ear- his hands coming up to cradle you against him as he turned the both of you over. You lay there… the light of the moon illuminating your bodies that fit together as perfect as a complete puzzle, cradling one another until sleep overcame the both of you- falling asleep still clinging to one another tightly as though you had never been broken apart before.

* * *

  
  
You woke the next morning slowly- knowing instantly that you would wake alone. Still, your hand reached out, hoping to touch a familiar warm body to curl up next too.

But the bed was empty. 

Swallowing the pain that had come up in your throat, you sat up and rubbed at the sleep still in your eyes as you took in the warm morning light in your room.  _ It’s for the best…  _ you thought dismally, bringing your knees up to your chest as you mulled over the previous night. Though the pain lingered in your heart from his absence, you knew he would come back. He would sort out the tangled web of pain that encased his heart and come back to love you wholeheartedly.

You sighed- stretching your back before glancing at your bedside table, quirking a brow upon seeing what had been left for you to wake up too.

A glass of water and a sheet of scrap paper.

You smiled slightly, shaking your head as you moved to grab the water, gratefully taking a sip before grabbing and glancing at the paper- nearly dropping the glass in your shock.

_ Don’t forget to eat breakfast. _

_ V _

Amidst the reminder- was a sketch… clearly hastily done, and with a hand that knew it’s way around a pencil… though the lines seemed hesitant, unsure of themselves. Regardless, you recognized the subject immediately as yourself… sleeping, serene, eyes shut with a small smile on your face.  _ Is this how he saw you? _ You wondered, the sight of the sketch leaving you breathless. 

_ Your face is etched in my heart…  _

_ I’ll nurture this bit of light you’ve cast on me… _

_ And come back to you.  _

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> COMING SOON TO A V-IGNETTE'S NEAR YOU! 
> 
> happily eVer after.
> 
> (yes I've already started writing the continuation. the first 'chapter' will be posted after i post this:3 that will be my uhhh- personal "After Ending" for V. It will likely be longer and a few chapters rather than 1 short v-ignette. )
> 
> Please Look Forward To It


End file.
